Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
