If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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