Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
