Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
