and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
