he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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