So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
