okay pat passed out under dana's car
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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