rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
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Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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