My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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