you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
