i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
