The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
