dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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