He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
