if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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