omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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