You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
