i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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