I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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