A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
