You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Your topless pictures make me question reality
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
