Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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