a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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