that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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