Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Randomize
