I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
