Please don't use social media to get back at me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
