dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I have tasted many bathrooms
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
