Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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