The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
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