i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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