Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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