is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
