singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize