well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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