I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
