none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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