Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
