I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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