My friends, they love my intelligence
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
