you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
