btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
