the condom got lost in my hair
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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