Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The air was thick with penises
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
