who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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