you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
