So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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