she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize