Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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