Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize