none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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