I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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