I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize