I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
