Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
