Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
