singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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