One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
