I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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