what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
