The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
so let's talk penis.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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