Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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