just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
