we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
There's always time for handjobs
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
